Saturday, August 4

Work Sex and other Ills

Ever been in a situation where the boss insists you stay back after hours? And actually ended up in an inane conversation about the productivity improvements at the Bangladeshi button factory employing children? And subsequently wished you has a gun so you could shoot yourself? Possibly put the boss(wo)man out of their misery as well?

Well you are not alone. The hard working people, apparently, do not have any play.... and I do mean "any" and not "less" play. according to Apotheken Umschau, the reason for overly diligent workforce is lack of sex (bobfoc could be one reason..). The lesser the sex the more the overtime payment. While a third admitted that they would substitute work for sex (involuntarily as it turns out), some 45% actually do it!! Now as statistics that is interesting - but a deeper analysis shows that there are 55% satisfied people at work (who work less), 45% are vulnerable to an office affair, solution to improving productivity at said Bangla button factory, sack the satisfied 55% and replace them with sexually frustrated ones. If they have office affairs, even better - they will spend more time at work (this will help climate change as their home electricity bills come down).

If you are the said unsatisfying partner, you have cracked it - not only are the odd good sessions really appreciated, the overtime will pay off the mortgage in half the time. Office affair is a calculated risk, at the very least the counter party will learn new tricks. Splitsville gets you half the moolah and you can also look for a BBD..from a higher moral ground!

Moral of the story: all progress depends on the sexually dissatisfied......

Note: In a case of Urban Dictionary meets Reuters Oddly Enough..
  1. Said boss can be called an Ignoranus: A person who is not only ignorant, but is also an asshole.
  2. Said boss suffers from PPD - It now stands for Post potter depression:

    The empty feeling that comes from finishing the seventh book in the Harry Potter series and realizing there will be no more.

    eg: Juicy started reading the Golden Compass books to fight her post-Potter depression but she said she just kept waiting for Voldemort to show up


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