Wednesday, June 20

Ex's, Hot air, and Climate Change

A friend is expecting and as all expecting people, is into baby names. Recently, over virtual coffee, one was asked for an opinion on a baby name... which, ostensibly was an amalgamation of the couples names with a few extra letters, gratis, just to make sense and prevent border-child-abuse charges from the expected progeny (to illustrate ..imagine a kid's name in text speak i.e. fuk for Faulkner). This conversation turned interesting as the name, while uncommon, was an ex's name as well... as well as that ex's ex sister's (... 's morbid parents???)! So that ended that discussion, with the said friend scurrying (as much as is possible) for the baby name book(s)...
note for all baby name seekers.. while bouncing baby names off people, make sure you know about their ex's else you may have to give up a name you really like. If this character still likes the ex...said person will get creepy later on. Also visit the British museum - they have (historically) the best repertoire of names there is - traditional, contemporary and universal.

Now that being said, have a lot of friends who are..well.. not here. Email, Myspace, Youtube, Googlegroups etc etc are great technological inventions which invest with us the power to reconnect. Find old friends, make new ones (read hot women), set up dates...cancel them, find new employers...post CV on office time.....pirated movies, limewired songs...oh the joys of the Internet! However nothing quite beats the joy of coming into work and finding message(s) (presumably from a hot guy / babe) flashing on the monitor!! Perhaps some soulful poetry ........

The sky seems so much blacker than all the other nights
Bringing a deeper chill which reaches my bones
The stars are scattered
Sparkling, shining, shaping the world
I can’t see anything else but you,
Anything but you and the stars......(- Toni Lynn Arena -)

perhaps a simple "Coffee@3:57?"

...reading replete with the goosebumps and assorted bells ringing....spring in the air, birds singing, pinacoladas on the beach etc etc

Well ...Congratulations! You have the dubious distinction of having deprived a poor family of a whole week of electricity! By leaving the computer on, you have wasted a minimum of 35 watts times number of hours. I mean, really, the office pays for your mobile/blackberry, you do have access at home AND all interesting friends /interests have relevant numbers to contact you lot ...exactly what is the point of leaving your computer running overnight? perhaps you want to have non-verbal communication?? exclusively? You realise that that is a sure sign of dying social skills?
In addition
a) elec. communication is not a good idea for any relationship - cybersex is another matter.
b) its OK to use paper for love notes - proven technology and stays longer than Falsh SD memory / CDs therefore can be used for future gentle reminding and (for the more ingenious among us) , blackmail. Plus even Apple Jobs has not come up with the colours that most women seem to be able to identify/ select (on paper) - if you . Also unwanted "paper" notes can come in mighty handy in emergencies.
c) Said poem is likely to turn to reality.. a permanent one (i.e. cant see much, there is a chill, and the sky blacker.... clear signs of a grid collapse and following blackout).
d) Lets face it "hey u, hw r u?" will never ever measure upto "This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet."

So dear people (and others), I get it that you may have a need for some appreciation (re: office sucks, relationship(s), Climate Change, need life, fav. women's hockey lost to Burundi, .....whatever). Give me a hint (a time to call would be nice as well) that you need company / conversation (even one sided): I am happy to oblige .. I can talk or listen (I am a great talker / listener as some of you already know). I can be articulate / humorous ..whatever be the need of the hour. I can even make an effort to recite poetry should that tickle your fancy. And, against better judgement, I can all of the above over drinks with white spirits! But please, when you are done with the day's trials and tribulations, SWITCH OFF THE DAMN PC!!!

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