best-of-craigslist

Here we go again -this "blog" is not original, I dont write original stuff and have no intention of doing so in the future. This is also not a fictional account of anything and because most of the material is sourced from different places on the net, I would classify this blog as "non-fiction" i.e. it talks about real stupidities, events or anything in that I happen to disagree with in general.

Having set the right expectations, lets us continue on this joyous exploration of second hand "gyan" (for non-Indians - this loosely translates to knowledge, not to be confused with academic bilge). When one is bored in life life questions crop up e.g. why does the world exist, what is the purpose of life, why am I single (or not as the case may be), oohh... how do I get my hands on that rare print of Tennyson's sonnets / Xbox360 / that hot dentist's assistant (not necessarily in that order). and this quest for "gyan" takes one to the distant corners of the internet... mainly the San Fransisco version of Craigslist.. where all of life's questions are answered (Except for THE question for which one has to refer to Douglas Adams). And I do mean all life questions are answered there. For instance..

• Lets say you are involved with a supre manipulative (bitch/jerk), and you would really like to beat them at their own game... here is an inspirational story ..Vasectomy: $400; Speechless look on her face: priceless
• Recent break up, cant move on? Having trouble not thinking about the (bitch/jerk)? One individual offers.. .........................................................No1. Post daily missives, alternating between maudlin, yet not entirely hopeless, pleas for reunion in Missed Connections, and scathing, wrathful inditements of the other person's character on Rants and Raves when plaintive Missed Connections posts are ignored. If your daily Craigslist ritual seems to be further deepening the chasm of your agony, create a list of tips for others who may also be struggling with the demons of misguided internet therapy. Rest here if you are in the said boat
• Ever wanted to simply have casual sex.. ended up gifting chocolate / Single Malt...and totally screwed up a happy happy situation? Wanted SWNS and ended up with NSAS? Listed under Casual Definitions Of Casual Sex, is a user's guide to managing expectations (yours mostly) when you get lucky!
• Got screwed by the ex? alimony / that lovely CD collection went with her / even the dog deserted you? and all you are left with is the overpriced ring? One dude is willing to make it all better by exchanging the said ring for a grand worth of booze plus miniature's stand! there is always a buyer .. so long as the price is right!!
• You are a guy.. have a social life that sucks (read none at all), want a girlfriend, want to advertise, dont know what not to put in.. here's help: 7 Habits of Highly Annoying People on CL m4w. If you dont know what the abbreviations mean.. look it up on the net you skiver.
• And for the women..... Some friendly w4m advice

Fascinating. However, though a bit late, must warn you that most of the content is totally inappropriate and certainly rated NSFW. If you get sacked for reading this at work - its your fault.. earn your keep. If you find some useful advice on these columns - good for you. and Please please .. as a matter of courtesy to the rest of us - try to develop a sense of humour. It just might make you a marginally interesting person (Kav. are you listening??). I have a bachelor party to attend so am off to get smashed. So should you - party or not. Single women without company for the weekend, give me a call....

technorati tags:craigslist, advice, w4m, women, hot, babes, sex

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Road Menace?

Woman plummets onto subway tracks while carelessly texting - Engadget

The joys and the foolishness associated with speed is normally left to the youth of today as young Mr.Jeremy Parrott, 37, of Somerset,has amply demonstrated. He, according to the boys in blue, mounted acamera on his helmet and zipped through reasonably populated areas,including some school (no doubt encouraged by a bunch of screaming teenagers from the same school?) at over 100 mph (which is over 160 kmph to the rest of the metric world - more than the top speed on some cars!!). The camera recorded the route (a blur), occasionally switching to the speedometerto record the speed as we... particularly useful on youtube! The action sequence starts and ends at young Jeremy Parrott's residence (duly incorporating the license plate of the hydrocarbon guzzler in the driveway) and then gets posted on YouTube.....Brilliant! and given the mountain of evidence in the public domain...Jeremy Parrott, 37, of Somerset, wont be seen on top of or near a two wheeler in theforseeable future. However, no harm done - bike run (thrilling),recorded it (stupidity), posted it on Youtube (borders on certifiable lunacy). However, Jeremy Parrott, 37, of Somerset, is not the biggest threat to the populace at large for if one wishes to avoid Parrott, one merely needs to avoid Somerset and anything in the 100 mile radius.

The bigger problem is the mobile phone wielding multitude of lunatics plaguing every second of the day.. take example of this youngish lady who, thankfully not behind the wheel, nevertheless tumbles onto the tracks, in the path ofan oncoming commuter train - and no..she wasn't depressed or suicidal..she was merely sending a text (SMS) message!! Really?? andshe didn't notice the train, the platform or when nthe platform vanishes to make place for the train??? While the said bird survived the high stakes "text" otherwise known as modern day russion roulette [courtesy good brakes on the oncoming train and a rather speedy subway worker], sincerely hope it scared the living daylights out of her...which is more than can be said about the drifters I encounter at the local park on my evening runs.

These "drifters", armed with mobiles + spare extra lifebatteries - as oblivious to oncoming traffic (yours truly) as the train-text bird - are a mortal track hazard. Here is why;

Oncoming Traffic [travelling straight]

Drifter [Drifting right - mobile phone being glued to right ear]

Oncoming Traffic [Startled - Jumps left at 12kph]

Drifter[swiftly re-manoeuvring self and mobile to intercept the jump accompanied by a mobile conversation which always starts with ".....and you know what he said (interspersed with giggle/sob on alternate days).... what am I going to tell (him/her/my mom).....]

Oncoming traffic [petrified as the drifter in all her pear shaped glory, fills the field of vision, (somewhat like Alonso slamming the brakes when Sato is right behind)- jumps off the track..goes up the "grassy knoll" and, suitably unnerved, heads straight for the pharmacy]

(the same scenario can be recreated on a road with said participants inside of cars - citeris paribus)

note: clearly established link between mobile phones and tranquilizer abuse!

Notwithstanding my particular predicament, this explains why men like Bikes and, more importantly, trains .. and why......... ;-)

technorati tags:Mobile, women, trains, run

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Bandh!
For those not in the know, or people not of Indian origin - loosely translated this translates to a general strike! and how!! In the Indian context this translates to a complete shut down of all except essential services - which for some unfathomable reason does not include education or groceries - the strikers could really do with a healthy dose of the former... these things tend to be reasonably disruptive - forced holiday, relax at home with friend(s), family or dog (or anything else that you many fancy); catch up on your favourite idiot box junk; organise your bills (are you listening K); or catch up on movies (Casino Royal isn't really a bond movie - the Peter Sellers version was better - and Jude Law has done a terrific job in All the Kings Men, must read the book - Karma Cola {Gita Mehta} and Over to you {Roald Dhal} are recommended) which you may have missed in the theater, sports (see pic on right)... why, you would ask, cant one do all this on a regular holiday? because, my dear, then you can actually step out of the house AND have a life!
However, we are being unnecessarily harsh - this protest was about water and a river (Orwellian scenario to the boot) and it gave people of the former garden city, an opportunity to use the said water for the joyous cleansing of their hydrocarbon guzzlers, patches of green, and assorted pots and pans - lest it be misused by the neighbouring states for... well...the joyous cleansing of their hydrocarb...........
But lets not belittle the bandh's - not only do they provide a calm and peaceful environment to relax (in a bustling city), they contribute to the environment as well! Firstly there is no traffic - that itself should give the city (and Citizens) of Blr a few million carbon credits! Then there are no trains running (which is a few million more credits!) and then the icing on the cake - no air traffic (the carbon footprint of that must have shrunk to the size of my footprint!!!!). Then there are no tree choppers (really would you like to bee seen in public, with an axe (or a chain saw), facing a rampaging mob!?!?) - the strikers torch the most inflammable things, cars, buses and bikes - are strikes a possible solution to the traffic woes? All in all the cities save money (no dirt on streets), the cops get disciplined (no bribes on strike days), roads are used for what they are built for.....cricket!
So all in all a great deal for more sublime objectives ... why you would want to shut down your own businesses because someone else usurped your water is another story...

Footnote: All you girls out there (particularly SC, KV, SB(x 2) and NL) - Blood Diamond is highly recommended! And you blokes - take the little lady to the flick before valentines (On valentines pls. see at your own mortal peril). Good story line, excellent acting, brilliant cinematography and the locales are great - leonardo, Djimon Hounsou (of Lara Croft, Galdiator and Stargate fame) and Jennifer Connelly (of Hulk, Beautiful Mind and Dark City/Water fame) were all excellent. The movie prompted the Diamond Industry (or rather De Beers) to launch a $15 million PR exercise (or more like damage control)..