9 Words Women use - And some....

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Even if you are right, you'd better shut up or its going to cost you: materially or otherwise.

(2) Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Also this is when a game of Russian Roulette starts to look increasingly attractive.

(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. This also means that there is trouble in paradise - best get a coat and step out to the pub  - the beer will lessen the pain which is sure to follow.

(4) Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! Or you should actually do it, it isnt like a russian roulette, more like standing in front of a cannon and then lighting the fuse.

(5) Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.). At this point you should also sigh - this will buy you time as it will confuse the hell out of her as to why you are sighing; meanwhile you can run through the list of potential misdeeds and narrow down to the most likely 3.

(6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake - and the longer the thinking, the more devilish the retribution (and yes I do mean the co...)

(7) Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever"). Thanks so much is fake - it is merely an attempt to appear nice so you (the said idiot) can be touched up for further favours.

(8) Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F**K<http:///> YOU! Extension would be do whatever the F*&$# you want. One bloke misinterpreted this and ended up putting his beloved on the market - refer to the souped up Nissan in one of the earlier posts.

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3. When a man says this - you can be rest assured its already been done and the counterparty need not bother - this statement, with regards to men, is largely associated with things technical or mechanical or, in some cases, financial.

Please note that even if you internalise all this, it will most likely not help you. The googly is association of past misdeeds with the current one i.e. equating veggie shopping (or lack thereof) with premium unleded for her car....

The only solution: be a man about it and take it on the chin .. Girls, give up. It aint getting any better.
Cheers