Mangling your own machine: a 10 step "how to" for killing your PC

In response to several queries from people who undoubtedly are planning to stab their current employers in the back (read: resign and join the grocer aross the street as it sounds more rewarding), here's a guide to completely rid your PC of information:

• go to www.undelete-plus.com
• download the file without the installer (you don't need admin access for this and yes it involves clicking the "download" link on the left frame)
• double click and Run a scan
• Now before you ask as to how an undelete programme is useful for getting rid of files, please note the little button called "wipe" on the top bar... it can be used to "wipe" undeletable files form your machine. Also the programme gives you a good justification for downloading it on an office machine in the first place as you can actually use it to undelete accidentally deleted files!! Therefore, please right click the list, select all and hit wipe!
• If problematic, please reboot the machine and when the BIOS version number crops up, hit F8... start in any DOS mode
• Once the command prompt comes on (looks like "C:\" or, for the mentally challenged, black screen with white letters and characters)
• Type Format C: and hit enter
• Are you sure...... answer yes to this
• And voila.... you disk is wiped clean!!! Now no one, including yourself can recover anything ... occasionally Windows does all this without your lifting a finger.
• for a good measure, you could now load Ubuntu OS on the clean machine.
  

However, should you find yourself cyber-netically challenged to execute these very basic (and rather simple) instructions ... do follow steps in section II

Section II

• Get a Philips head screw driver (this would be the one which, if cut a few MM above the end, would resemble a "+")
• look at the base of the PC / Notebook
• remove all screws (spreading them randomly across the room) and carefully remove the hard drive
• now switch on the cooker (hot plate if you are at work)
• make yourself some tea - this will give you time to ensure that there are no witnesses to the gross stupidity of what you are about to attempt, also allow for last minute rethink.
• After chai, take the hard drive in a pair of tongs ( if at work large paper clips will do) and roast on said chai cooker (hot plate) till the label appears done medium-rare or goes up in technicolour flames - whichever is first.
• Your hard drive is toast.
• Have a drink (preferably seven)
• Try putting the PC back together - this serves no purpose as the hard drive is toast and by this time several other components of the machine are beyond hope. However it will help you understand all those anti-DWI (Driving While Intoxicated) ads.
  

If you follow this advice, you should not be let anywhere near a micro processor, including your own; Dont take this personally, this is in the interest of public safety and the future well being of your own gene pool.

Note: I do not condone the misuse of office PC's, if only because the odds in favour of your getting sacked thereafter are ... well.... 1:0

Post Script: A useful tool to keep prying eyes out is Microsoft Private Folder (Currently giving tech support a bit of a headache). It is a single folder which is simply passowrd protected.. totally un scanable without unlocking.