Why arent you married
For the last few hours I have been twiddling my thumbs... some information requested has been lost in transit, backup hasn't arrived, and I cant sleep till I have finished this moderately interesting report!
In such circumstances it is not surprising that ones mind wanders a bit (more like idle mind's a de...... ) and I was thinking about these lady friends of mine, (in a totally honourable way ;-)). All of them are smart, intelligent, ridiculously qualified, well travelled, decent looking, street smart girls and know how to handle situations - well almost all.. Fresh blokes - one of them is a Black Belt, several into kickboxing, and yet others into assorted physical activities.
However the problem crops up when they are asked "How come you are not married?" Er.. answer is no appropriate bloke to saunter up the aisle to or accompany around the flames.. But no, that question must be asked and with amazing regularity. So what's the solution? At the first glance, one could deny wanting to get married - but then this would prompt a whole new speculation (and wild imagination if its a single guy). Asking the interrogator to look for someone could actually result in painful memories of "arranged meetings". The best route is a repartee (mostly single and preferably one sided).
Conversation one:
Q. So How come you aren't married?
A. It gives my mother something to live for.
(Clatter Crash of assorted coffee cups disinterred on the tiles - stunned silence thereafter)
Conversation 2 ( A roundabout one)
Q. So how come the family isn't here? (Read - I see no ring on the finger hence you are single.... Why??)
A. Fortunately I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
[getting into the attack mode]
So why aren't you thin?
Conversation 3
Q. Why aren't you married "yet"?
A. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
And so on and so forth..
so having tackled that - one still has to watch out for the pesky aunt who sneaks in the question on pretext of donating a mixer grinder; conversation being:
Pesky Aunt: XXXX Darling, last time I was here your kitchen looked like it could do with a Maharaja Whiteline mixer grinder 2 in one - here's one for you
Hot Girl: [squeal] (actually a shriek of horror but aunt assumes undying gratitude): Oh you shouldn't have...really (basically there is no place, it looks ugly and the boyfriend, the still hung on ex AND the friends boyfriend are great cooks hence grinding gadgetry redundant)
Pesky Aunt: So how come you aren't married?
(stunned silence - time to put in some dry turmeric + pebbles into the "Maharaja whiteline" and let rip the decibels!)
Hot Girl: (Sign Language) cant hear!
[that is technically called killing two birds with several small stones - especially if the Maharaja's lid were to come off in the process]
On an unrelated note, one young lady, worries about this problem she has with guys adopting complex "dressing rituals" (pre or post being coerced into shaving off the stubble?) - and it being devoid of any subjective decision making (which presumably means - not trying the 36 white shirts to decide which goes well with the Tux / 501's)
Being highly organised , it goes something like this
Well........
For the last few hours I have been twiddling my thumbs... some information requested has been lost in transit, backup hasn't arrived, and I cant sleep till I have finished this moderately interesting report!
In such circumstances it is not surprising that ones mind wanders a bit (more like idle mind's a de...... ) and I was thinking about these lady friends of mine, (in a totally honourable way ;-)). All of them are smart, intelligent, ridiculously qualified, well travelled, decent looking, street smart girls and know how to handle situations - well almost all.. Fresh blokes - one of them is a Black Belt, several into kickboxing, and yet others into assorted physical activities.
However the problem crops up when they are asked "How come you are not married?" Er.. answer is no appropriate bloke to saunter up the aisle to or accompany around the flames.. But no, that question must be asked and with amazing regularity. So what's the solution? At the first glance, one could deny wanting to get married - but then this would prompt a whole new speculation (and wild imagination if its a single guy). Asking the interrogator to look for someone could actually result in painful memories of "arranged meetings". The best route is a repartee (mostly single and preferably one sided).
Conversation one:
Q. So How come you aren't married?
A. It gives my mother something to live for.
(Clatter Crash of assorted coffee cups disinterred on the tiles - stunned silence thereafter)
Conversation 2 ( A roundabout one)
Q. So how come the family isn't here? (Read - I see no ring on the finger hence you are single.... Why??)
A. Fortunately I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
[getting into the attack mode]
So why aren't you thin?
Conversation 3
Q. Why aren't you married "yet"?
A. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
And so on and so forth..
so having tackled that - one still has to watch out for the pesky aunt who sneaks in the question on pretext of donating a mixer grinder; conversation being:
Pesky Aunt: XXXX Darling, last time I was here your kitchen looked like it could do with a Maharaja Whiteline mixer grinder 2 in one - here's one for you
Hot Girl: [squeal] (actually a shriek of horror but aunt assumes undying gratitude): Oh you shouldn't have...really (basically there is no place, it looks ugly and the boyfriend, the still hung on ex AND the friends boyfriend are great cooks hence grinding gadgetry redundant)
Pesky Aunt: So how come you aren't married?
(stunned silence - time to put in some dry turmeric + pebbles into the "Maharaja whiteline" and let rip the decibels!)
Hot Girl: (Sign Language) cant hear!
[that is technically called killing two birds with several small stones - especially if the Maharaja's lid were to come off in the process]
On an unrelated note, one young lady, worries about this problem she has with guys adopting complex "dressing rituals" (pre or post being coerced into shaving off the stubble?) - and it being devoid of any subjective decision making (which presumably means - not trying the 36 white shirts to decide which goes well with the Tux / 501's)
Being highly organised , it goes something like this
Well........
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