Improve your sex life via the internet and other problems with language
I don't read newspapers. Ok that is a bit extreme but I read exactly one newspaper in the morning but most of the news I catch up with is off the web. This used to be a nuisance till I discovered the joys of Flock (its still in Beta so be warned) and used their excellent feed manager (for the techno unsavvy this is a live list of content from various sites). So now I have an opening "front page" which lists out various news items. But then the purpose of this note isnt to brag about my tech prowess (however insignificant it may be) - it is about the content that comes through these links. After the release of the rather wishy washy Casino Royale (really a sentimental Bond without gadgets!?!!) the whole debate about Bond and somehow the attraction of men has been rekindled. TOI talks about TDH being sexy (seriously - that debate went out of the window in MY childhood) - ostensibly they couldnt think of headline for their Bond article, hence this. So anyway - the premise of TDH is that unless you are born with the looks of an ancient greek statue (excluding blank eyes and chalk white skin; preferably dressed) - you are doomed to failure on the personal front?? Or so you would think. So all you people out there, with looks only your mother (or your priest, which could be worrying) could love, take heart, for in this world of abbreviations TLC apparently takes precedence over TDH.
There are several reasons for this, primary one being that women tend to be less shallow, deeper thinkers, and more compassionate than men (and by definition - completely illogical). Women put up a half decent pic on a site (with ankles exposed - read any non-mountaineering footwear) and there is a flurry of mails with the ferocity of the feeding frenzy of a school of sharks which has gone without food for 36 days and has suddenly spied Adnan Sami! On the other hand if she writes some decent prose - she attracts caring, sensitive, classy, interesting men .................who are mostly gay or disaffiliated flaneurs with the gift of the gab (lawyers??).
So there is a problem at both ends - women attract wierdos and men.. well... dont attract anyone.
I will not even attempt to analyse the women's end, requirements etc because it goes into the extremely nebulous region of "feelings" - hence the onus of ice breaking is on men. This piece of advice is for men: and firstly NO; any woman who looks that good is not going to go out with random messagers or even respond! Especially if the messages couldn't be deciphered by ET (wt u doin 2day....les prty). Really, if "U" cant be bothered to use English (as opposed to ET)...give up. If one is a geek and finds the challanges of spoken language a bit much,Strix's guide is highly recommended, replete as it is with greasemonkey, php and other technobabble. However, if Ajax seems like a comic book character, Ruby on Rails an exotic dancer and Typo an error... read on..
So the first order of the day is to go back to the basics - to learn English (or Hindi or Oriya or Tamil or whatever obscure website you are on). Please avoid the temptation to hit rapidex English Speaking course - Kapil Dev was paid MONEY to endorse the product. He is no longer a cricketer and that should be a hint. Also there is no down side to this, even if you don't get a date, employers will look at you more favourably (improved language skills - you can talk to people) and you will be able to handle rejection thorough all that practice. Next Step: read up on some classics - Shakespeare is a good beginning, though G.B.Shaw is a bit better - obscurity of text is the key here as it will take longer to comprehend - better for learning, sort of like chewing your food 32 times.
Note: the order is important as chances of your understanding any literature, without necessary language skills (which go beyond wt - u - 2day), is remote.
Now pay close attention: Once several classics have been mastered (and you are not yet in your late 50s') unsubscribe from whatever dating / socialising site you were on - if you haven't managed a date at the language class / book club / office, there is no hope.
Plan B: Retire to Moscow (there are 4 women to each guy so some are bound to get very desperate - plus they don't speak English) or if Indian, then Times of India matrimonial is a good starting point - it is suitably devoid of "prose space", colour pictures or any other creativity or any means of verification. Plus it is read by parents who might actually get impressed by your qualifications.
Also looking up Mum might be a good Idea .... for reasons other than her excellent culinary skills!
Till later... cheers!
I don't read newspapers. Ok that is a bit extreme but I read exactly one newspaper in the morning but most of the news I catch up with is off the web. This used to be a nuisance till I discovered the joys of Flock (its still in Beta so be warned) and used their excellent feed manager (for the techno unsavvy this is a live list of content from various sites). So now I have an opening "front page" which lists out various news items. But then the purpose of this note isnt to brag about my tech prowess (however insignificant it may be) - it is about the content that comes through these links. After the release of the rather wishy washy Casino Royale (really a sentimental Bond without gadgets!?!!) the whole debate about Bond and somehow the attraction of men has been rekindled. TOI talks about TDH being sexy (seriously - that debate went out of the window in MY childhood) - ostensibly they couldnt think of headline for their Bond article, hence this. So anyway - the premise of TDH is that unless you are born with the looks of an ancient greek statue (excluding blank eyes and chalk white skin; preferably dressed) - you are doomed to failure on the personal front?? Or so you would think. So all you people out there, with looks only your mother (or your priest, which could be worrying) could love, take heart, for in this world of abbreviations TLC apparently takes precedence over TDH.
There are several reasons for this, primary one being that women tend to be less shallow, deeper thinkers, and more compassionate than men (and by definition - completely illogical). Women put up a half decent pic on a site (with ankles exposed - read any non-mountaineering footwear) and there is a flurry of mails with the ferocity of the feeding frenzy of a school of sharks which has gone without food for 36 days and has suddenly spied Adnan Sami! On the other hand if she writes some decent prose - she attracts caring, sensitive, classy, interesting men .................who are mostly gay or disaffiliated flaneurs with the gift of the gab (lawyers??).
So there is a problem at both ends - women attract wierdos and men.. well... dont attract anyone.
I will not even attempt to analyse the women's end, requirements etc because it goes into the extremely nebulous region of "feelings" - hence the onus of ice breaking is on men. This piece of advice is for men: and firstly NO; any woman who looks that good is not going to go out with random messagers or even respond! Especially if the messages couldn't be deciphered by ET (wt u doin 2day....les prty). Really, if "U" cant be bothered to use English (as opposed to ET)...give up. If one is a geek and finds the challanges of spoken language a bit much,Strix's guide is highly recommended, replete as it is with greasemonkey, php and other technobabble. However, if Ajax seems like a comic book character, Ruby on Rails an exotic dancer and Typo an error... read on..
So the first order of the day is to go back to the basics - to learn English (or Hindi or Oriya or Tamil or whatever obscure website you are on). Please avoid the temptation to hit rapidex English Speaking course - Kapil Dev was paid MONEY to endorse the product. He is no longer a cricketer and that should be a hint. Also there is no down side to this, even if you don't get a date, employers will look at you more favourably (improved language skills - you can talk to people) and you will be able to handle rejection thorough all that practice. Next Step: read up on some classics - Shakespeare is a good beginning, though G.B.Shaw is a bit better - obscurity of text is the key here as it will take longer to comprehend - better for learning, sort of like chewing your food 32 times.
Note: the order is important as chances of your understanding any literature, without necessary language skills (which go beyond wt - u - 2day), is remote.
Now pay close attention: Once several classics have been mastered (and you are not yet in your late 50s') unsubscribe from whatever dating / socialising site you were on - if you haven't managed a date at the language class / book club / office, there is no hope.
Plan B: Retire to Moscow (there are 4 women to each guy so some are bound to get very desperate - plus they don't speak English) or if Indian, then Times of India matrimonial is a good starting point - it is suitably devoid of "prose space", colour pictures or any other creativity or any means of verification. Plus it is read by parents who might actually get impressed by your qualifications.
Also looking up Mum might be a good Idea .... for reasons other than her excellent culinary skills!
Till later... cheers!
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